Quick Study wrote:
I've thought about doing 3rd person like Pink Eyes does, but the reason why I went with 1st person is to better focus on Hotwire. Since the whole point of the story is him trying to gain redemption from his past sins and it's a bit harder to do inner monolog in 3rd person.
So I guess if you think it's important to reveal the inner thoughts of Gears then I recomend trying 1st person.
There isn't any problems doing inner thoughts in third person; you just have to formulate them differently. An example;So... This is how it feels to be dead?
Gears thought as darkness crept in from the edges of his vision, his sense numbing. Not quite what I had imagined.
The trick is that I can reveal the inner thoughts of other persons too with this PoV. Continuing on the example;
"No!" The Steel Ranger initiate shouted, sprinting over to the wounded stallion.FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!
she thought, looking around in desperation for a healing potion, a roll of bandages, a tiny little shot of Med-Ex, anything to save him.You weren't supposed to stand there, I never meant to hit you with that missile, don't leave me now or I'm going to kill you, don't you fucking leave me now...
Her thoughts rambled on autopilot as Gears' lifeblood slowly drained.
I can also muck around and reveal either both their thoughts at once, or nothing at all, simply describing what's happening. Again, I continue the example;
The armored mares head spun around; she had heard a clinking sound from the raider she had aimed for with the missile?
She had completely forgotten about him. She shivered as she realized she could have been killed at any moment; she had completely forgotten that she was still on a battlefield.
Atleast, she had been; the raider had died, ripped apart from the same explosion that hit Gears. But, more importantly, the raider had tried to save itself... with a healing potion.
The Steel Ranger surged to her hooves and sprinted the distance between them and quickly picked up the bottle, before running back, skidding to a halt infront of the wounded stallion. As she popped open the potion and forced it down his throat, he opened his eyes, looking sluggishly from the potion to her. Thank Celestia...
they both thought, and collapsed, letting the potion do it's work while he rested.
Feel free to critisize my writting if you want xD
Hm. I think I pretty much decided using 3rd person by writing that. xD
I don't think I'll be able to handle 1st person anyway; I have never written anything major in it, and I feel vastly more comfortable with 3rd.
@ Quick Study; Do you mind if I borrow the Sierra concept myself? I'm preeeetty sure I can fit it perfectly into the ideas I have for my own stories. And, after all, it's highly unlikely they have just 4 such teams. Where are "your" Steel Rangers based? Also, these teams... What are they "made of"? Older paladins? Younger initiates under the guidance of a paladin? Etc.
I'm wondering if that Initiate (who I seriously need a better name for. Any help on that would be appreciated xD) of mine could start out as a part of a Sierra squad. It would fit brilliantly into the story.