The advice thread

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Re: The advice thread

Postby Kashin » Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:16 pm

Quick Study wrote:
The Jack wrote:Aha! Now I remember what I wanted to ask about;

Do you guys have any opinion on whether I should write in first or third person?
I am wondering about doing it in 1st person mostly because Fo:E and PH are both done so... but I am horribad at 1st person. I'd personally much rather do a 3rd person view, but centered mostly on Gears (the main character).
Any thoughts?


I've thought about doing 3rd person like Pink Eyes does, but the reason why I went with 1st person is to better focus on Hotwire. Since the whole point of the story is him trying to gain redemption from his past sins and it's a bit harder to do inner monolog in 3rd person.

So I guess if you think it's important to reveal the inner thoughts of Gears then I recomend trying 1st person.

I agree. If your focus is on Gears' region or world then use third person. If the story is about Gears himself then first person all the way.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Quick Study » Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:58 pm

I just thought of another group I need help naming. The name of the Steel Ranger squads that patrol the wastes to find lost tech, determin its value, and either gather it up and transport it to the nearest Steel Ranger base or defend it till a Paladin squad and a few scribes can arrive and set up a research outpost. Right now I'm calling them Sierra 1, 2, 3, and 4; because the motto of the squads is Survey, Salvage, and Secure.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Kashin » Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:39 pm

I like Sierra teams myself, but if you don't Reclaimers might work.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Quick Study » Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:05 am

I'll stick with Sierra then.

Also I was talking to a friend about the Enclave group, I asked about eariler, and he gave me a great idea. How does this sound? After Rainbow Dash left the pre-Enclave, the pegasi goverment decided to twist and pervert her elite fighting force, the Shadowbolts, in to a force that hunts down the followers of their former leader. Now that I think about it that would make both the Shadowbolts and Wonderbolts preforming basicly the same tasks, just the Shadowbolts would do it a little more descretly, or a lot more descretly. I could flesh it out a little more, just wanted to get yall's idea on the concept.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby The Jack » Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:44 am

Quick Study wrote:
I've thought about doing 3rd person like Pink Eyes does, but the reason why I went with 1st person is to better focus on Hotwire. Since the whole point of the story is him trying to gain redemption from his past sins and it's a bit harder to do inner monolog in 3rd person.

So I guess if you think it's important to reveal the inner thoughts of Gears then I recomend trying 1st person.


There isn't any problems doing inner thoughts in third person; you just have to formulate them differently. An example;

So... This is how it feels to be dead? Gears thought as darkness crept in from the edges of his vision, his sense numbing.
Not quite what I had imagined.

The trick is that I can reveal the inner thoughts of other persons too with this PoV. Continuing on the example;

"No!" The Steel Ranger initiate shouted, sprinting over to the wounded stallion.
FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK! she thought, looking around in desperation for a healing potion, a roll of bandages, a tiny little shot of Med-Ex, anything to save him.
You weren't supposed to stand there, I never meant to hit you with that missile, don't leave me now or I'm going to kill you, don't you fucking leave me now... Her thoughts rambled on autopilot as Gears' lifeblood slowly drained.

I can also muck around and reveal either both their thoughts at once, or nothing at all, simply describing what's happening. Again, I continue the example;

The armored mares head spun around; she had heard a clinking sound from the raider she had aimed for with the missile?
She had completely forgotten about him. She shivered as she realized she could have been killed at any moment; she had completely forgotten that she was still on a battlefield.
Atleast, she had been; the raider had died, ripped apart from the same explosion that hit Gears. But, more importantly, the raider had tried to save itself... with a healing potion.
The Steel Ranger surged to her hooves and sprinted the distance between them and quickly picked up the bottle, before running back, skidding to a halt infront of the wounded stallion. As she popped open the potion and forced it down his throat, he opened his eyes, looking sluggishly from the potion to her.
Thank Celestia... they both thought, and collapsed, letting the potion do it's work while he rested.


Feel free to critisize my writting if you want xD
Hm. I think I pretty much decided using 3rd person by writing that. xD
I don't think I'll be able to handle 1st person anyway; I have never written anything major in it, and I feel vastly more comfortable with 3rd.


@ Quick Study; Do you mind if I borrow the Sierra concept myself? I'm preeeetty sure I can fit it perfectly into the ideas I have for my own stories. And, after all, it's highly unlikely they have just 4 such teams. Where are "your" Steel Rangers based? Also, these teams... What are they "made of"? Older paladins? Younger initiates under the guidance of a paladin? Etc.
I'm wondering if that Initiate (who I seriously need a better name for. Any help on that would be appreciated xD) of mine could start out as a part of a Sierra squad. It would fit brilliantly into the story.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Quick Study » Sun Nov 06, 2011 12:49 pm

The Jack wrote:@ Quick Study; Do you mind if I borrow the Sierra concept myself? I'm preeeetty sure I can fit it perfectly into the ideas I have for my own stories. And, after all, it's highly unlikely they have just 4 such teams. Where are "your" Steel Rangers based? Also, these teams... What are they "made of"? Older paladins? Younger initiates under the guidance of a paladin? Etc.
I'm wondering if that Initiate (who I seriously need a better name for. Any help on that would be appreciated xD) of mine could start out as a part of a Sierra squad. It would fit brilliantly into the story.


Sure your welcomed to it.

I've based the Sierra teams out of the Cheyeneigh Mountain Command and Logistic Operation Post, near Fort Whoof and Ballast. Where this is in Equestria, I haven't decided exactly. The reason why there are based out of here, is one because Cheyeneigh Mountain has the highest amount of resources being the home base of the Steel Rangers and two they have a high quantity of Scribes. Also I really haven't decided on a exact number of Sierra teams, heck only teams I've actually developed are Sierra 1 and 2, but I guess since they patrol all of Equestria I guess there would be more then 4. So lets say 8 teams.

The structure of each squad is a team of 4, usually two Knights and two Scribes, that have Knight level combat training, though this isn't set in stone. Sierra 2 original had one Knight and three Scribes, before Jury Rig was disabled, and now they have one Knight, two Scribes, and one initiate, although Prism will receive the rank of Knight in a few chapters. Also each squad has a pony, usually a Senior Scribe, that they report all findings to.

With the exception of Prism, it would be extremely unlikely for a Initiate to be assigned to a Sierra team due to the extreme danger of the job though exceptions could be made if they had enough combat training to suvrive.

If you got any other questions feel free to ask.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby The Jack » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:14 pm

Quick Study wrote:
The Jack wrote:@ Quick Study; Do you mind if I borrow the Sierra concept myself? I'm preeeetty sure I can fit it perfectly into the ideas I have for my own stories. And, after all, it's highly unlikely they have just 4 such teams. Where are "your" Steel Rangers based? Also, these teams... What are they "made of"? Older paladins? Younger initiates under the guidance of a paladin? Etc.
I'm wondering if that Initiate (who I seriously need a better name for. Any help on that would be appreciated xD) of mine could start out as a part of a Sierra squad. It would fit brilliantly into the story.


Sure your welcomed to it.

I've based the Sierra teams out of the Cheyeneigh Mountain Command and Logistic Operation Post, near Fort Whoof and Ballast. Where this is in Equestria, I haven't decided exactly. The reason why there are based out of here, is one because Cheyeneigh Mountain has the highest amount of resources being the home base of the Steel Rangers and two they have a high quantity of Scribes. Also I really haven't decided on a exact number of Sierra teams, heck only teams I've actually developed are Sierra 1 and 2, but I guess since they patrol all of Equestria I guess there would be more then 4. So lets say 8 teams.

The structure of each squad is a team of 4, usually two Knights and two Scribes, that have Knight level combat training, though this isn't set in stone. Sierra 2 original had one Knight and three Scribes, before Jury Rig was disabled, and now they have one Knight, two Scribes, and one initiate, although Prism will receive the rank of Knight in a few chapters. Also each squad has a pony, usually a Senior Scribe, that they report all findings to.

With the exception of Prism, it would be extremely unlikely for a Initiate to be assigned to a Sierra team due to the extreme danger of the job though exceptions could be made if they had enough combat training to suvrive.

If you got any other questions feel free to ask.


Hm. If you don't mind, I'm going to say that the Sierra teams that are based where I'll base my story (which I haven't quite figured out yet) is based are structured differently; namely, one Knight, atleast one Initiate, and atleast one scribe, with the last member either being another Initiate or another Scribe. Not sure about the last one yet.
Mostly because being on such a team is THE perfect motivation for Initiate to be in the town Gears live in. =D
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Quick Study » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:37 pm

Well I did say the ranks of the members could varry and exceptions could be made for Initiates, though I'm not too sure if having half the team composed of Initiates is a wise idea.

Also I will say one more thing about how I've invisioned the Sierras. They are giving alot more freedom in how they act in the wasteland, Sierra two makes a habit of asking wastelanders about any posible tech sightings and will sometimes trade meds, ammo, and guns for the info or tech, rather then take it by force.
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Re: The advice thread

Postby The Jack » Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:21 pm

Quick Study wrote:Well I did say the ranks of the members could varry and exceptions could be made for Initiates, though I'm not too sure if having half the team composed of Initiates is a wise idea.

Also I will say one more thing about how I've invisioned the Sierras. They are giving alot more freedom in how they act in the wasteland, Sierra two makes a habit of asking wastelanders about any posible tech sightings and will sometimes trade meds, ammo, and guns for the info or tech, rather then take it by force.


Oooh, even better. Helps reinforce the fact that Initiate will be going Applejack at some point; getting in contact with the common wastelander (for example Gears) would help with that.

You think they would consider hiring locals on as guards if needed? If yes, goodie; that supports my story. If no, then :pipshrug: . It's going to happen in my story anyway; I'll just have to come up with a good reason xD

How much do you think they would do to get their hooves on a stable with still untouched rooms? And what do you guys think a Steel Ranger response to someone taking a pipbuck away from under their noses, so to speak? Not neccesarely intentionally, but Gears certainly wouldn't want to give one up without a fight if (*cough*when*cough*) he gets one.

Gahwdioauygebfpsihgr. I wish it wasn't 02:20 at night, or I'd be starting to write right now. Why does my writers mood have to come at the WORST. POSSIBLE. TIME?! xD
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Re: The advice thread

Postby Quick Study » Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:47 pm

The Jack wrote:
Quick Study wrote:Well I did say the ranks of the members could varry and exceptions could be made for Initiates, though I'm not too sure if having half the team composed of Initiates is a wise idea.

Also I will say one more thing about how I've invisioned the Sierras. They are giving alot more freedom in how they act in the wasteland, Sierra two makes a habit of asking wastelanders about any posible tech sightings and will sometimes trade meds, ammo, and guns for the info or tech, rather then take it by force.


Oooh, even better. Helps reinforce the fact that Initiate will be going Applejack at some point; getting in contact with the common wastelander (for example Gears) would help with that.

You think they would consider hiring locals on as guards if needed? If yes, goodie; that supports my story. If no, then :pipshrug: . It's going to happen in my story anyway; I'll just have to come up with a good reason xD

How much do you think they would do to get their hooves on a stable with still untouched rooms? And what do you guys think a Steel Ranger response to someone taking a pipbuck away from under their noses, so to speak? Not neccesarely intentionally, but Gears certainly wouldn't want to give one up without a fight if (*cough*when*cough*) he gets one.

Gahwdioauygebfpsihgr. I wish it wasn't 02:20 at night, or I'd be starting to write right now. Why does my writers mood have to come at the WORST. POSSIBLE. TIME?! xD


Applejack's Rangers would hire outside help, but Steel Rangers wouldn't because they consider "Tribals" as inferiors. Only Steel Rangers that would, would be the ones pre-Applejack's Rangers that join their cause upon creation.

Depends on the Stable, the Ranger(s), and what might the find be. In my story I currently have two Stables designed, one is untouched because the outside controls are heavily damaged, but are fixed by Hotwire. The other one is revealed after Hotwire gets his memories back and remembers seeing Steel Rangers pulling a Stable 2 and killing everypony inside.

Also I'm pretty sure any Ranger would be pissed if you stole anykind of valuable tech like that. A Steel Ranger would just kill you out right, while a Applejack's Ranger would just take it back and give you a warning if they are in a good mood. But once again, like above it would also depend on the Ranger themselves.
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