Would like feedback on an odd story

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Bad Horse
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Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:40 pm
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Would like feedback on an odd story

Postby Bad Horse » Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:16 pm

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Twenty Minutes: Is it worth risking your life to save a stranger? What if you knew you could only save her for twenty minutes?

This is a tricky one-shot psychological story, about a pegasus who's a sex slave to the zebras during the war. I've tried writing it three different ways. Help me out here: What do you think of it? I'm not looking for proofreaders. I want to know if it felt like a story.

Also, where do you submit Fallout: Equestria stories other than EqD, fimfiction, and fallout-equestria.com?
Some of my stories:
The Detective and the Magician: Trixie tries to get Fetlock Holmes' attention by becoming a criminal. 5 stars on EqD.
Big Mac reads something purple: Twillight asks Big Mac to read something to the CMC. If only he knew how to read...
Twilight Sparkle and the Quest for Anatomical Accuracy: I have no recollection of writing this. I deny everything.

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